A lot has happened since my last post “Are you OK” and the good news is that I am now OK. I’ve caused a lot of worry to friends and family, but I’m doing OK now. And very grateful for the support of family & friends.
I can always tell when I’m struggling as I stop writing. To be honest, I stopped writing this blog mostly because I’ve been doing really well. The recovery from hip surgery is a distant memory and I’m enjoying a more active lifestyle. I still have joint pain due to the hyper-mobility but it is very mild compared to what I’ve been through in recent years. Life is actually pretty good. Winter has been tough though and I don’t think the UK climate is good for me, I can feel it in my joints.
My work-life balance hasn’t been good either and I think I underestimated how stressful it is to settle in London. I’ve not yet made friends outside of work, and in recent months work has taken over. Something I’ve addressed now and 2016 looks to be an exciting year for me. This year I’m focusing on the yoga (of course), writing & music. I hope that if I do the things I enjoy, I’ll make friends and my social circle in London will grow.
Its been a few weeks so I figured its time for an update. I notice when things aren’t going great, sometimes the blog gets ignored. On the flip side, when things are going fantastically the blog also gets ignored while I go out enjoy life. Unfortunately, at the moment things aren’t going great. The pain levels are escalating, the central sensitisation has been a lot worse and I’m exhausted from battling the system.
Where are things right now? well….
- Work/life balance has swung out of control again, have been working long hours. The project ends this week (maybe next) so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its a bit of a race to the finish line though, so this week will be rough.
- The pain levels are high and are interfering with my sleeping again.
- I’m on thin ice, and need to rest a lot more.
- The bursitis is REALLY sore and always swollen, I can’t lie on my left side or my tummy and have to ice my thigh constantly.
- I’ve been trying to get a cortisone shot for the bursitis, its taken 4 weeks at least but I’m finally booked in next monday (phew).
- The hospital is mucking me around and it turns out I’m not actually on the waiting list for surgery yet, and assuming my paperwork goes through ok it is a 5 month wait. She said they are processing my paperwork now and I should get a letter in the next couple of weeks.
- I got offered a fantastic job but had to turn it down as it was conditional on surgery (when I applied the surgeon had just told me surgery would be end of April)
- I’ve been getting my right ankle treated for a sprain I did several weeks ago when dancing on one leg (as you do). It is apparent there is a lot of scar tissue due to years of multiple sprains (because it’s the opposite side to my sore hip it’s taken a thrashing). Because I am unable to rest it properly it’s not healing well and is rather swollen and sore this week.
- Because I’m now bearing more weight on my left leg (due to sore ankle) my hip is much worse than usual and the bursitis is getting worse.
- I’ve had to pull the crutches out for the first time in over a year. Am not quite able to bring myself to use them even though I probably should. But I have been told to take them to me when I go away for a choir trip this weekend (lots of standing).
- I’ve skipped a lot of choir practice due to pain and am also saying “no” to things.
- Have been slack re the physio therapy and swimming, mostly due to pain, tiredness and a lack of time.
- Am working with the Pain Clinic again, quite frequent appointments and quite intense treatments.
- The weather is getting colder which is not great for my pain levels and circulation.
Good news…. (there must be some)
- I started a new blog called Pretty Ordinary Things where I take a photo a day of something ordinary in an effort to help me be more present in the world and actively search for beauty in every day things. Its been working a treat, I feel my eyes are constantly scanning the environment, it pulls my thoughts away from my problems and is helping my photography. I’m really enjoying the project.
- We got restructured at work, so at least something is changing there. I’ve got a new manager and a new team, hopefully I can move my desk too. That with a new project will help refresh me at work. Just as well seeing as I had to turn down that amazing new job.
- I did a 3 day cram and passed my Six Sigma Green Belt Exam this week. I’ve just got to put together a portfolio and I’ll get certified. Six Sigma is a methodology for process improvement and data analysis.
- I’m going away this weekend, heading to Otaki to do a 2 day singing workshop with my choir. I can’t wait.
Fingers crossed things pick up soon, I think the next couple of weeks will rough but hopefully things will improve soon. I’ll feel A LOT better when I get a date for this surgery, I just need to know when it is going to happen so I can plan things and prepare. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to going away this weekend.
Things are progressing nicely. I’m in a bit of a weird place at the moment when I am doing really well, but then I forget to take it easy and the pain spikes. I have a tendency to push myself, so its hard not to ramp up the pace now I am feeling better. For instance, I kind of joined two more choirs, so now have choir practice Mon, Tue and Wed evenings! I know its a bit much, but I really enjoy singing. I’m sure its good for me.
I’m on my 2nd week back at work, only working 3 hrs a day but getting a lot out of the time. So I am feeling rather productive. I start work at 8am, do physio/rehabilitation afterwards (at the gym) and then go home for a rest in the afternoon. Often reading or watching DVDs. This routine is working well for me, it feels nicely balanced.
I am on week 3 of my new rehabilitation program and that is going well too. Today I managed 5 minutes on the reclined bike, she gave my thigh a good massage and I did some butt strengthening exercises. We also talked about how to improve my walk. Apparently I’ve got a mean limp, I drag my leg through and my butt/hip flexors appear to be taking a holiday. I’ve probably had this limp for a good 2-3 years!
I also working with a pain psychologist at the pain clinic. I think I’m making good progress with him, its hard to tell! The psychology of pain is so complicated, but I’ve learnt a lot about how pain works and its good to talk to someone about how it impacts my life.
So… I am making good progress but its slow and steady (as it should be).